Saturday Morning

I'll never forget what you told me-- it's stronger to wear our hearts on our sleeve than not. Say and show how we feel, cause if not, what else is there? Such is love - never practical yet the only purpose. It was you my love, who showed me how to open my heart and face my fears. No more hiding in shadows. No more bitter tears. Letting go of the past. I gave myself a brand new start. Fumbling through the dark was the hardest part. Now, I see and through these deep waters. We have a found treasure. Two of a kind, me and you. Like midnight rain we saw it through til dawn. Holding each other at last.

Ella

Eternal beauty, strength, and love...beguiling and sweet but full of thorns. Does the rose scorn? Does the rose know its beauty is coveted? Does the rose understand the nature of man? The rose is not without knowledge of the forlorn, protecting herself from being picked on to picked up, tooted and booted, uprooted. She escapes the worms and twists her roots and outstretch, bursting past the darkness. You'll find her between a rock and hard place or alone amongst a sea of crabgrass. Guided by the Son's light. No matter what she'll find her way. Hook or crook, hell or high water she grows. The rose, symbolizes love but do you don't love her? Appreciate not manipulate or else get stuck....shit outta luck. Look but don't touch, just smell me...smell me? Nose wide open, yearn then burn cause love loves no one but bleeding hearts never learn.

Soldier's Story

Quietly...he sips aged Brandy and begins to clip a cigar tip. I watch as he inhaled the past once again and exhaled memories, with a puff characters came alive like phantoms unfurling. Ebony eyes pondering passersby with a distant gaze. Follow him down memory lane, if you're brave. Sips Brandy akin to skin, deep mahogany, strong spirit, and aged of life's fermentation. Seen days without air when America inhaled war and exhaled gun-smoke...a story told again and again and ever sobering. "To God be the glory, I'm still here", he simply says. Today, I sat still listening to my father reflect upon his days in "Nam" amid the countless prayers said in Saigon six ways from Sunday. These moments and the lessons therein never ceases to amaze. My eyes have never witnessed fallen friends join the ranks among fields of poppy, nor the pain of coming home to an ungrateful nation. No job Joes. War heroes drifting train stations by day and sleeping in shadow by night. It wasn't right. No amount of words can amend. Only a soldier can comprehend. Yet, with sincere thanks America gives tribute. I ‪‎salute to the end our veterans and troops, as we uphold stories of strong spirit, aged of life's fermentation to be told this day again and again...ever sobering.‪

Day 11,892

Dear Father,

Through the porthole of ages where space and time have no dominion my spirit was made flesh. Your breath filled my temple and opened the chambers of my heart. Seems like only yesterday I cried. Touch my crown and each day I wake...ongoing is the journey toward my fate. Father, this is a mysterious place so if I make it back unlock the gates from afar! I want to see the look of defeat upon the morning star. Meanwhile, I will ever write my heart though the watchers record my every move, my every scar.

Funhouse

Funhouse, funhouse, funhouse....runs 'round rampant like a broken recording. A constant reminder of all the world’s ills outside this windowsill.  Vivid in my mind like flashing neon lights, running mascara, and warped faces in the frothy swirls of my morning coffee creamer…but I’m a dreamer steady hoping against hope, against ticking of the tock as people beating the clock, crawling up and down these inner city blocks…it’s a minstrel show. Aye, turn that conscious shit down and turn up! Lo behold there goes Sambo on yo' radio but like LL I can’t live without it. The beat hits them chakras...surrounded by show stoppers and pill poppers –  I call ‘em Lohans. Meanwhile, Sam I am in these trenches steady Willy Lynchin' next to booby traps promising the biggest booty so niggaz be like I got mines…clowns don't realize the jokes on them.  Signs of a time when children kill, grown men squeal and women endure madmen for rent money and cheap thrills. Blind leading the blind so the love is lost but fuck it I’mma BOSS! It cost to be. Funhouse, funhouse, funhouse…her nose is red like October with lashes longer than her lies, meanwhile his heart is in the trap steady laughing hysterically at their own demise. Huffin' and puffin' running through this maze just to huff an puff after a long day in a purplish haze. Yet, the shit got me wound up….so I pops up outta this box and startle everyone passing through. They told me keep calm, relax, and pass the time away...ignore the view. Snatch the needle off the wax. 

The Everlasting

Though time goes on, memories are ever lasting...imprinted on life and played in our hearts as we reflect on things past -- a smirk from a familiar stranger across the room reminds me of that friend (gone too soon), a sweet aroma lingering like grandma's timeless perfume (leaving a gentle comfort), or the way that glad child squints his eyes and smiles the way her father once had (as if he's there smiling back at you). Those are things that will never fade...everlasting impressions of those who remain...alive in our hearts and minds...living on and on in our spirit as do they...ever here...immortal in the memoir of time. Though their soul has transcended just beyond the veil...forever here and always it is through us the beauty of their spirit remains -- within the memorial of your heart.

In Memoriam of Trayvon Martin

PETITION FOR JUSTICE  


Video Transcript: Suspicious, written by Cheryl Williams a.k.a Bornscorpion (2012)

I know

I know what’s on your mind

You think that we have too much time

Blast from a watchmen's gun

Closing credits after Sanford’s son

There you are in a room

Watching

Thinking it's doomed

Flowers in bloom next to death's young groom

You think it’s over

Gone too soon

Time it flies

Like dragons in dark skies

Hearken

The fire of goodbye on our tongue

For his life had only just begun

Foul men acting on a whim

Again and again

Between black and white

Lies the gray area where no one wins

Meanwhile, lady liberty in all her glory

Blind eyes & untold stories wherein the purgatory between “just us”

I know

I know what's on your mind

You think that we have too much time

To dream

Take on the plight despite loss

Fight for the sake of human rights at all cost

No justice

No peace

I know

I know you are in a room

Watching

Thinking you’re doomed

The memory of death’s young groom

Haunts you like a thousand grim reapers

You think it’s over  

It’s only just begun...

The Ladies Room

She blew in like a quiet storm; each step hurried but hesitant as if calculating her next. Her lanky frame seemed to droop like a weeping-willow as she shifted past. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. Instinctively I turned toward her as she studied me over like a wounded, stray cat sensing a kind stranger. Our eyes met and I got a glimpse into hell. She was sophisticated but undone as the night's spirits danced on the tip of her tongue. Baby blue eyes set evenly faceted, deep and desperate; complimenting aging fair skin and conservative bleach blond hair. A white blouse and delicate necklace fashioned her neck. Holding handbag under elbow; long, bony fingers bent over the burlap. I sensed a lost soul and prepared to show my moral compass....I too have been down that dark alley. Unabashed the lady looked at me square. Her rich fiancé cheats - a narcissistic whore fat on pride…his version of love…a dish served cold. “…told me he will continue his affair...he’s probably with her now, she lamented...but loves me first and wants to marry me…should I…we’re engaged to be married?” I blinked and like a hush all to be heard was the rush of tap water from the nearby faucet; as a lone third party hunched over the sink, coyly washing her hands trying to mimic irrelevance [in contrast] though listening intently as I began to speak. I happened to see the lady after leaving the restaurant that night. I sat at the red light watching her ghostly figure cross the busy intersection. She was heading back to her hotel. 

Cliché.

The Realest Shit I Ever Wrote

Hot, cold, wise, dumb, piss poor or set, been up and down, here there all around lost in time. Been so real, so fake, so scared still, so mad enuf to kill, so weak, so strong, i win, i lose pity the fool. some love, some hate, some don't giva fuck if i make or break. so hurt i'm numb sometimes wanna feel sum... hard to cry out to anyone about anything not even God himself. If i do the pain hard to maintain or just a wack PETA commercial, that's 2 tears in a bucket and u know the rest but i digress. U know me my friend like we luv everybody but don't get to close cause i die hard for few heck loving myself ain't always easy to do. cried long and hard and though i am tired of bn alone its kept me strong so i go along tryna do the math and no ph call cause err i dont know what to say no mo. how u been? oh good got plans to build a spaceship but im no rocket scientist like kanye so still fucked up in the game trying to free my mind and soul in jesus name.... see i'm not depressed well hmm maybe a lil but more pressed to find the reasons for this season and the next clue cuz the shit out order out here...it don't add up...love is down and hate is up but we dividing by probability. Nah, im calm... just tryna howl at a new moon. The daze is crazy. Ever wish u could hear God's voice without dying? I do. Like, at the stroke of midnight drama but (and you crying) mama said there'll be days like this. I miss my heart and everyone and everything buried in it. Gone to soon most of u and you, I didnt getta chance to say goodbye, and you, you shoulda told us you were dying inside...sigh...and you...ahhh Grandma, i shoulda spent more ticks but i wont make the same mistake with your daughter this time and oh yea I hate that she sick. I aint lyin...Lord, one real hug from u whilst I'm, we all here on earth would hold us down for years like a rebirth cause sometimes prayers feel like an echo. Where they going? And can souls hear us? Dear you, down here or up here (depending on where u at) is organized chaos with a beautiful back drop, the good are dying, the evil are multiplying and ppl walking around asking the wrong questions. Sincerely, Somebody. I love and hate this shit all at the same time and oddly enough that's enough balance to keep me sane. psshh i'm rambling and i prolly need to but then again who's listening? Fuck the writings on the wall. That's always a gamble and whoever turns up i don't care cuz cest la vie. I'm me. 

Demigod

Human Spirit Moonscape - Susan Moore

When their mind is in the clouds, mine is in the stars.  I am awake when they are sleeping.  I am private, unpredictable, eccentric, goofy but aloof, light-hearted yet brooding. I am at times absent-minded and lazy others ingenious, beautiful whirlwind.  I am duality. I am good. I am evil. I am mad with indecision then content like Archimedes, "Eureka, I found it!" I black. I am white. I am warm.  I am cold. I am soft. I am weathered bold. I am like Mae West, "When I'm good, I'm good but when I'm bad I'm better."   I am best.  I am a contradiction.  I am all-in-one.  I am human and I AM.  I am a Daughter of God.  

Simply, I am who I am.   

A Heartfelft New Years

New Year's Eve is a day away and an eventful 2010 is coming to a close.  It is that proverbial time of reflection before and resolutions after -- a crystal ball falls from the night sky and slurring Au Lang Syne.  As the song goes, "Should ol' acquaintances be forgot and never brought to mind?" Not to be cynical but in the whimsical world of dating and relationships, realistically this sentiment will visit us more than once a year.  Perhaps your 2010 love life left you feeling blah~zay and emotionally drained or just downright disgusted and pissed.  Yep, we've ALL been there. 

So, raise a glass folks! LOL...

All is fair in love and war, right?  Apparently, because in any given season some rejoice to new love and wedding bells while others lament over a broken-hearts and busted wallets.  Sorry, this doesn't include Father-of-the-Bride.  Yet, for those of us who have found themselves at war with love I'd like to suggest a few things that helped me through the mean-time.  Heartache, anger, bitterness, self-doubt, are all natural responses to pain but still negative emotions that we should leave behind us so that we can begin to heal.  We've all been hurt and both men and women benefit from extra TLC and/or strong words that keep us grounded.  Again, a New Year is indicative to new beginnings so strengthening yourself mentally and psychologically is  the ONLY way to be sure you will remain resolute to your cause.  In the Meantime is an excellent and creative book of self-evaluation and healing for both women and men who seek to learn how to stop unproductive thoughts and behaviors that are robbing them of love; self-love most importantly. 

Now, without further ado, ladies...

The Confident Woman by Dr. Joyce Myers is another excellent book where the author speaks to women about owning her power as a woman from an evangelical standpoint. Now, Myers is never hum-drum nor does she throw the bible at you sort of speak.  The book is universal and eloquent as it engages women from all walks of life and faiths.  As far as strong words are concerned, it is next where things get secular but insightful (just the same). Like my Nana says, "Chew the hay...spit out the sticks." In other words, process any and all information but only take from it what you need! 

She's Gotta Big Ego...

So, now you got the Yin but you could go for a little Yang? Check out The Alexyss K Tylor Show  to rejuvenate your inner goddess!  Yes, I said goddess.  This femme-fatale, feminist is ALL about self-empowerment and celebrating your womanhood. So, if after listening in you haven't experienced a pick-me-up or ego boost... go back to step  one and repeat.  Now, be forewarned she's is shocking and vulgar but sharp as a tack, brutally honest and funny as Moms Mabley. If you can handle that, then her message will not get lost in translation.  No. Tone it down a notch? LOL. Okay.  Well, we all can appreciate sisterly advice and that's exactly what you'll find on The TonyaTKO Show.   Mizz Tonya is a Psychology and Communications graduate, and a self-proclaimed Love Guru -- whose like "the big sister you never had" who paints your nails and giggles with you about boys instead of locking you in the coat closet.  Unlike Mizz Alexyss, she does not use strong language but both are leave their listeners more knowledgeable and most of all encouraged!  Well, that's my wrap for 2010. Cheers, ladies and gents!  I wish everyone the best possible in all areas of life. Remember, keep your head up and love down in your heart and the rest will surely follow.  


Happy New Year!

Lunar Life

~Lunar Life~

Love Always~Just Because and Even So~When the Sun passed over the Moon~Die to be Reborn again like moments in a Cocoon~As this Matrix unfolds what is meant to be will~ Till we meet again~Shalom ♥

American Rouge

Second street. I ate minute meat to save time and money but still hungry.  From my car window is the buzz of life. It's on every street corner.  Americana. It's the "bees knees!" Like honeycombs hanging cater-corner inside doorways. I reckon the bittersweet concept of estranged neighbors. Yet, we all weave around tree-line to city skyline...black and yellow, black and yellow. Streets full. Cabs buzzing, people hustling and bustling. Rainbows of bodies like them blue collars busting backs in the lower east side, white collar corpses, to little green men in eco-friendly matchboxes on the upper.  We tolerate each other for freedom's sake; like confederate flags waving off the beaten path but I wasn't in Kansas anymore.Somewhere between the countryside, wall street and Russia were two lively Lithuanian women drunk off Sauvignon and the arts. I stood in the present as they offered wine and cheese.  One dressed in exotic Saree sat Indian-style strumming on an old accordion. Soon lost in tantric tunes we sang out into the night air from the corner.  Nibbling on Wisconsin cheese, I sipped on festival wine as the waft of soul food tickled my nose. It took me to the Motherland. A block a way Mama Musa used the salt of the earth to cook up down home meals in the melting pot.  

FOR THE LOVE OF ITALY

Like love in birth

It's heaven on earth

Like a lover’s impromptu kiss and butterflies in the belly

Likewise I flutter underneath tye-dye skies and thru rustic corridors

I saw no sacrifice

Yet, my quickering lips prayed to feed my eyes a slice of paradise

The fire of the sun touching my skin

The spice of life at my fingertips

To hear the wind & rain in a shell

Go! Spellbound, I am yet another statue standing along the shore

Glaring & salty

The heartbeat of the city beckons

With him I walked the fertile parts of mother

T'was endless rolling pastures goin' on into tomorra’

Amid rivers of bright colours

Flowing thru the city like the blood of Gomorrah

Sienna, gold, crimson and deep green bleed thru its chambers

Squat, red clay pots to tall, indigo vases sat along thistled windowsills

Fragrant cigar smoke twills up as fine spirits spill down over crystal clear conversations

And a red door

As red as the wine of Florence

As red as my heart!

There we left our mark for the eyes of men

Winds swooshing over a teal ocean with doves looping

T'was dark chocolate and light laughter as curious tots prance

Snickering at our romantic gestures at sundown

The moon is full... hanging fat and lazy over the horizon

Odes of romance saturate nocturnal peak and mariachi ballads serenade the streets

We dance in the lush to violin strings and loud drum busts

Soft whispers in the ear

Gentle kisses by the pier

Let's never leave here...

INERTIA

So, I closed my eyes and saw a crossroad  

I felt paralyzed: don’t want to make the wrong decision. Death by indecision.

I hope to look back and smile

Seems miles away

I hear my father’s truck come roaring around the house like a lion

Like a rumbling, I hear wisdom when he speaks

Sometimes it’s hard to look him in the eyes

He has learned and earned

Yet, I cannot seem to stand on my own two feet

God bless the child who has his own…

On his land I took a seat

There is a promise every child must keep

With my head in my hand I weep

Father is strong yet I feel weak

Mother endures

They say 2012 is curtains

Either way I am certain someone will have regrets

I pray not I

I toil this earth with hope still

Though disappointments haunt me

…mind, body, and soul

I seek myself, wants, and needs

Courage, truth, and honor

I seek strength for my convictions

I seek to move mountains

Almighty where did I go wrong?

Hell, where did we go wrong?  You know... the propriety in society.

I yell HIS name from inside this temple

I am hurting it is just that simple

How long? Where do I belong? Can I be strong?

They say, you say…

In you is where we find peace

Well…

Maybe misery is my comfort

Maybe my heart is suicidal & rather pities me than face the challenge of being free

Maybe it’d rather suffer in silence than laugh out loud

Maybe it’d rather care than love

Maybe it’d rather live in idle motion than miraculously moving

Maybe it’d rather be damned

Human nature is a funny thing

Living and surviving on the cusp of time

From beginning to end our hearts know no bounds

As life takes us thru every up & down

“A smile is simply an upside down frown”

-surely the quote of a realist

Yet is it not true?

Our joys are simply the opposite end of sorrows

Still…

Hopefully tomorrow’s face will be right side up

Tired of feeling blue without so much as a clue of what to do…

This is a crossroad

In this vast field of ambiguity the devil is a scarecrow

My compass needs energy

GOD uplift me

I dream what now seems like the impossible…

To fly free like the Eagle

Enjoy grace like the Swan

Shadow the darkness like the Crow

Love like the Dove

And know no fear for the sake of clarity like the Owl

Lawd have mercy on my soul!

…With GOD’s mercy I shall someday rise like the Phoenix

My heart will find my guts

Nor will my eyes lie to my mind

One fine day I’ll be able to put my pride aside

Put my sins behind and live with no sense of time

Only a sense of purpose...